"Birth is not only about making babies. Birth is about making mothers - strong, competent, capable mothers who trust themselves and know their inner strength."
Barbara Katz Rothman
This quote has been a guiding principle for me throughout my midwifery career and I’ve been privileged to walk beside many mothers on their journey – encouraging, shining a light on the path maybe smoothing a crease in the map so they could better find their way.
But it goes further than the moment of birth, or even the journey through pregnancy, a woman’s perception of herself as a mother is greatly influenced by her experience as a daughter, her relationship with her own mother (or those who mothered her) and, ultimately, her relationship with herself.
As a coach I help strong, loving women with an enormous sense of responsibility who feel conflicted in some way about their role as mother – maybe they don’t want to do things the way their mother did or maybe they’d love to but are juggling other demands in addition; maybe they never really saw themselves as ‘motherly’ or maybe they came to motherhood through trauma. They often have a sense of failing – failing their children, or their partner, or at work – so push themselves harder and harder until, close to breaking point, they don’t much like the type of mother they’ve become. I support them to take a step back, assess the things that really matter to them, nurture themselves and make practical adjustments so that they feel more in control but with less struggle.