"Birth is not only about making babies. Birth is about making mothers - strong, competent, capable mothers who trust themselves and know their inner strength."
Barbara Katz Rothman
This quote has been a guiding principle for me throughout my midwifery career and I’ve been privileged to walk beside many mothers on their journey – encouraging, shining a light on the path maybe smoothing a crease in the map so they could better find their way.
But it goes further than the moment of birth, or even the journey through pregnancy, a woman’s perception of herself as a mother is greatly influenced by her experience as a daughter, her relationship with her own mother (or those who mothered her) and, ultimately, her relationship with herself.
As a coach I help strong, loving women with an enormous sense of responsibility who feel conflicted in some way about their role as mother – maybe they don’t want to do things the way their mother did or maybe they’d love to but are juggling other demands in addition; maybe they never really saw themselves as ‘motherly’ or maybe they came to motherhood through trauma. They often have a sense of failing – failing their children, or their partner, or at work – so push themselves harder and harder until, close to breaking point, they don’t much like the type of mother they’ve become. I support them to take a step back, assess the things that really matter to them, nurture themselves and make practical adjustments so that they feel more in control but with less struggle.
When asked how she felt at the end of the programme, one of my clients said this:
"Better. Clearer. Calmer. More focused. More fun!!" LW
